
Ode to my colon
By Crystal Teague
Oh dear colon how I love you so.
Why do you hate me?
I wish for us to be friends, but no longer can I take your abuse.
I hate for us to part in such ways. But I can not live like this.
We have been together for as long as I can remember.
We have had some great times. But now I fear they are over.
We both just hold resentment against each other and it is not fair to either of us.
We have grown apart. Between all the doctors visits and medication we take to deal with each other I fear has made things worse. So I have to say goodbye. I will always remember the way things used to be. I want to apologize for all the Taco Bell, Wendy's and McDonald's I have consumed over the years. If only we could turn back time. I would be so different. But we can't we ca only go forward from here. So please take your smells and go....
Love always,
Crystal
P.S. I had Wendy's for lunch I know I shouldn't have but there was nothing else on the way.